When to break-up with your best friend
Okay...so how do I start...I don't know...
But have you ever had this feeling that a very close friend of yours have no purpose in your life now? That you can no longer depend on them for anything and you cannot discuss anything about your life now? Just thinking about sharing something scares you whereas there was a time when these were the friends whom you had trusted with your deepest secrets?
What to do when you feel that? I don't know that's why I am writing this blog, right?
Well, let's start with my best friend.
I call her my BFF. She has been there for me when I was low in life. She has always loved me more than any other friend in the world. I mean that's why we were the BFFs because I loved her the most as well.
But suddenly, things began to change.
She has always been very possessive about me. She always made sure that I talk to her, make her feel special and take care of her even when we were just friends and not the "BFFs". We had just met through one of our mutual friends and had just started to hang out with everyone. But, in just no time we grew a bond that was above other friendships, which I would say I neglected as she was there for me. She was the first one to call or text or keep in touch throughout the day. There was this one time when she knew about the fact that I went to the hospital and took injections because I had stomach ache and not my mom. She was also close to my mom and my mom liked her as well.
But soon enough, things changed.
I think it started when I started dating the love of my life and she was still single.
Why do I think so? Well, because things started changing slowly which I noticed very late. Somehow I feel that she never liked my boyfriend because I had started devoting my time to him rather than her. That I guess was the biggest thing that tipped her off from liking him. She felt neglected to which I always tried to makeup along with a very demanding job which use to take my time up and she was not working. And whenever I had time to talk to her, all I heard were the taunts which obviously no one would love to hear after a long, tiring day at work.
I, still, tried to understand her situation thinking that we have only each other and that we should give each other a lot of time. I swear I decided to do so. She always wanted to talk on phone or keep on texting over FB, wanted every detail of my life every second. It was becoming difficult to keep up with her as per her expectations. It was difficult to take out time while I was at work. She always wanted my time, or that I thought. And when four times in a week I took out time for her, she was busy and didn't gave up any of her prior appointments with her so-called friends. So, I guess my time had no importance or I think she was just playing hard to get? I mean not that way but you know what I mean. That "now-that-you-have-time-for-me-I-am-busy-with-my-other-friends-see-my-life-is-happening-without-you-even". Okay, I get it. I was okay with this attitude because I truly felt that I give her less time and that she had no one else.
But to be really honest, I was getting fed up. The phone calls that lasted for so many hours, I started dreading them. I use to feel what the heck, she will taunt me again and will say something about me or my boyfriend or my family and I will just flip. Yes, she did say something about my mom which I couldn't digest but still did not say anything thinking that it was all my fault that she was angry and I have to do and listen to every damn critical word she has to say. But, no matter how much I tried to cover those words up, they did leave an impression on my heart.
I was going out for a holiday on my birthday with my boyfriend. I would have loved if she could come but her family doesn't allow her for an overnight stay. When I told her, she got flipped out completely! She got angry saying that I have ruined her plans of throwing me a party and that I am selfish for going out with my boyfriend whereas I should have celebrated it with her. I simply told her the reason that keeping in mind that our parents might never get ready for our marriage, this might be the last time my boyfriend and I might be celebrating our birthdays together. Is this too difficult to understand? But no, she stayed angry even then. Nevertheless, I went on the trip and met her after that and spent the day with her. I think being a friend she should've understood my reason and supported me while feeling happy. And even though she got upset, she shouldn't have tried to ruin my holiday. Agree?
But then things got out of hand. We stopped talking. But during Valentine's week I sent her gifts on each and every day just the way did it for my boyfriend showing that she is as important for me as him. We started talking and after a while things got back to where they were and we stopped talking. I called her on her birthday and she didn't pick up.
After a month I wrote her an emotional email to get back together. She had a demanding job and never had time in a day to talk. We had a night out to sort things back but I guess that night it was only her who got to talk about her feelings and not me. Since then I tried to take out time for her, wish her every day even though she never will do it first herself, call her, leave office early to meet her as she always had off on a weekday. But all in vain. She still said that I didn't give her enough time and I just say whatever I want to say.
She met my friend with a lot of fun and zeal but when she met my boyfriend, she was stiff and left in two seconds while she invited my friend she had just met for coffee. Wow? Right!
I try. I do try my best. I did tell her that she isn't the same. She is just trying to show me that she has moved on from me and doesn't care about me and she's got some other friend she keeps talking about, but I don't want all of this crap. I have my own life to deal with.
I have stopped sharing my life with her feeling scared that she will say some or the other thing about my boyfriend whom I intend to marry. Just because she is jealous of the fact that I spend more time with him than her doesn't give her any right to say anything about him, does it?
Well, I am feeling fed-up and frustrated again. I do not get any satisfaction after talking to her. I don't share anything about my life with her. Our friendship, our bond has lost its purpose, so why are we in each other's life making it miserable for each other every day...
Is there any hope or we should just move on to our own paths...
But have you ever had this feeling that a very close friend of yours have no purpose in your life now? That you can no longer depend on them for anything and you cannot discuss anything about your life now? Just thinking about sharing something scares you whereas there was a time when these were the friends whom you had trusted with your deepest secrets?
What to do when you feel that? I don't know that's why I am writing this blog, right?
Well, let's start with my best friend.
I call her my BFF. She has been there for me when I was low in life. She has always loved me more than any other friend in the world. I mean that's why we were the BFFs because I loved her the most as well.
But suddenly, things began to change.
She has always been very possessive about me. She always made sure that I talk to her, make her feel special and take care of her even when we were just friends and not the "BFFs". We had just met through one of our mutual friends and had just started to hang out with everyone. But, in just no time we grew a bond that was above other friendships, which I would say I neglected as she was there for me. She was the first one to call or text or keep in touch throughout the day. There was this one time when she knew about the fact that I went to the hospital and took injections because I had stomach ache and not my mom. She was also close to my mom and my mom liked her as well.
But soon enough, things changed.
I think it started when I started dating the love of my life and she was still single.
Why do I think so? Well, because things started changing slowly which I noticed very late. Somehow I feel that she never liked my boyfriend because I had started devoting my time to him rather than her. That I guess was the biggest thing that tipped her off from liking him. She felt neglected to which I always tried to makeup along with a very demanding job which use to take my time up and she was not working. And whenever I had time to talk to her, all I heard were the taunts which obviously no one would love to hear after a long, tiring day at work.
I, still, tried to understand her situation thinking that we have only each other and that we should give each other a lot of time. I swear I decided to do so. She always wanted to talk on phone or keep on texting over FB, wanted every detail of my life every second. It was becoming difficult to keep up with her as per her expectations. It was difficult to take out time while I was at work. She always wanted my time, or that I thought. And when four times in a week I took out time for her, she was busy and didn't gave up any of her prior appointments with her so-called friends. So, I guess my time had no importance or I think she was just playing hard to get? I mean not that way but you know what I mean. That "now-that-you-have-time-for-me-I-am-busy-with-my-other-friends-see-my-life-is-happening-without-you-even". Okay, I get it. I was okay with this attitude because I truly felt that I give her less time and that she had no one else.
But to be really honest, I was getting fed up. The phone calls that lasted for so many hours, I started dreading them. I use to feel what the heck, she will taunt me again and will say something about me or my boyfriend or my family and I will just flip. Yes, she did say something about my mom which I couldn't digest but still did not say anything thinking that it was all my fault that she was angry and I have to do and listen to every damn critical word she has to say. But, no matter how much I tried to cover those words up, they did leave an impression on my heart.
I was going out for a holiday on my birthday with my boyfriend. I would have loved if she could come but her family doesn't allow her for an overnight stay. When I told her, she got flipped out completely! She got angry saying that I have ruined her plans of throwing me a party and that I am selfish for going out with my boyfriend whereas I should have celebrated it with her. I simply told her the reason that keeping in mind that our parents might never get ready for our marriage, this might be the last time my boyfriend and I might be celebrating our birthdays together. Is this too difficult to understand? But no, she stayed angry even then. Nevertheless, I went on the trip and met her after that and spent the day with her. I think being a friend she should've understood my reason and supported me while feeling happy. And even though she got upset, she shouldn't have tried to ruin my holiday. Agree?
But then things got out of hand. We stopped talking. But during Valentine's week I sent her gifts on each and every day just the way did it for my boyfriend showing that she is as important for me as him. We started talking and after a while things got back to where they were and we stopped talking. I called her on her birthday and she didn't pick up.
After a month I wrote her an emotional email to get back together. She had a demanding job and never had time in a day to talk. We had a night out to sort things back but I guess that night it was only her who got to talk about her feelings and not me. Since then I tried to take out time for her, wish her every day even though she never will do it first herself, call her, leave office early to meet her as she always had off on a weekday. But all in vain. She still said that I didn't give her enough time and I just say whatever I want to say.
She met my friend with a lot of fun and zeal but when she met my boyfriend, she was stiff and left in two seconds while she invited my friend she had just met for coffee. Wow? Right!
I try. I do try my best. I did tell her that she isn't the same. She is just trying to show me that she has moved on from me and doesn't care about me and she's got some other friend she keeps talking about, but I don't want all of this crap. I have my own life to deal with.
I have stopped sharing my life with her feeling scared that she will say some or the other thing about my boyfriend whom I intend to marry. Just because she is jealous of the fact that I spend more time with him than her doesn't give her any right to say anything about him, does it?
Well, I am feeling fed-up and frustrated again. I do not get any satisfaction after talking to her. I don't share anything about my life with her. Our friendship, our bond has lost its purpose, so why are we in each other's life making it miserable for each other every day...
Is there any hope or we should just move on to our own paths...
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