Indian Society and Infidelity

This post comes a little early as it is not Saturday or Sunday yet and I haven't met my girlfriends. And yes, the topic of this blog doesn't comes from their love or sex life. I picked up infidelity from a casual conversation which I actually over-heard what my mother was having with one of our neighbor aunties.

This neighborhood aunty got married to her husband around 24 years back and their marriage is an year away from celebrating the silver jubilee of togetherness. But they might not be celebrating it. Not because they firmly believes in the fact that they'll be celebrating their Golden one together, but because their 25 years couldn't be called as the 'Happy years of togetherness'.

Let's take a little flashback to understand the whole affair (pun intended). As per tradition, theirs was an arranged marriage and they lived happily for many years. She gave birth to two sons and they are now 23 and 22 in age respectively. But as the years passed by, their so-called happy marriage turned into a sour one. Her husband was having an affair with a widow who had a son. Everyone in our society came to know about his affair as they used to have fights everyday and she became somewhat insane when she heard of his affair. And I wouldn't say that she over-reacted. As they say "A woman can share everything with someone else, except her husband". That's why her reaction stand corrected. Any woman in the world, specially an Indian woman for whom serving to his family and husband is the biggest goal of her life and who dedicates her life to her husband and family would react to it in that way.

Even after her so many efforts, he didn't leave his muse. They could be separated only by death. His mistress died of some disease. May be that was God's will. But what amazes me in this case scenario is, she accepted him back and their life moved on. Though he sometimes does shows his discomfort in living life with his wife through witty taunts, but he just can't run away from her.

From this whole 'affair thing' arises two questions-

1. If he was so in love with his mistress and still feels trapped in his marriage, why couldn't he take the decision of stepping out of it so that he could live with the love of his life?

2. If the aunty came to know about it and even after her so many efforts he was not ready to leave his mistress, why didn't she filed for divorce?


 I guess, both of them were trapped in the shackles of societal norms and pressures.

She was under the pressure that what will happen if she takes a divorce. Where will she go as the family was still dependent on him for financial help. Plus, carrying the stamp of a divorcee for the rest of the life wouldn't have let her live peacefully in the society. And the reason which tops the chart for her is- She really loved her husband. Being an Indian woman it would have been a very difficult time for her because after 20 years of togetherness, no one can imagine that their marriage will fall apart.

And I am not sure about her husband's side of the story completely. He might have tried to take a divorce from her but she must have refused it. This can be supported with the conversation that aunty was having with my mother.
Aunty: Crime Patrol showed that a guy killed her wife because he had an affair with someone and his wife refused to give him divorce. We were watching it together and my husband said that she should have given him divorce. Aisa kahin hota hai kya? Why should the wife give him divorce just because he wants to have fun outside?
My Mother: Yes, you are right. Why should the woman suffer because of it? That woman did the right thing.

Well, I would like to know one thing from them, living with a husband- who doesn't gives a damn about you, is in love with someone else and is asking for a divorce- worthwhile? Is it necessary to spend your whole life with someone who doesn't love you just because you have to honour the unnecessary rules of the society and be unhappy for the rest of the life?

But, when it comes to cheating, a woman most of the times accepts the mistake made by her husband or is pressurized by the family and in-laws to accept it. But when a woman cheats on her husband, she is said to be characterless and is thrown away from the house. Society surely has different rules for men and women.
 
But the question still remains unanswered- Why can't we take the leap of faith and courage for love- for the love of our life...and the love for ourselves.