No Strings Attached- Really?

With 'Friends with Benefits' term becoming prevalent not only in theory, but practically as well, do 'No Strings Attached' relationships really exist?



Met my friends yesterday for a girls day out and discussed this aspect of relationships. One of my friends was back with her ex-boyfriend and they were having sex without being in a committed relationship. Though she had all the hopes that once again everything would be fine and they'll have a perfect relationship full of love and care. Though both of them termed their current relationship status as 'Just Friends' and as per to the guy he didn't wanted to be in a relationship with her again as she had earlier left him for another guy. The reasons stated to me by my dear friend was that he was over-possessive and kept him under a lot of restrictions (they were in a long distance relationship). Because of their past history of togetherness, he was unable to trust her again with his heart but was ready to make love to her whenever he wanted.

But as we girls are- 'Emotional Fools', she mistook his care for love (though its true that he use to say 'I love you' to her) thinking he might be interested to be in a relationship again and fell for her ex once again. But while they were having sex again, he revealed that he was already in a serious relationship with someone from his hometown. My friend, who had already been through a broken relationship with him earlier and then again through a heart-break with that 'another guy', was completely shattered after hearing the truth. She felt being used, guilt and regret took over her mind.

A question that kept hovering her mind was "Why did I get involved with him again and went through the same emotions which I had already been through so many times?"

It was the regret that kept on making her cry. The regret of losing her virginity to someone who doesn't give a damn about her existence even though he use to say that he is in love with her and doesn't have any feelings attached with his current girlfriend. Can love and feelings be so cheap that you can fake them just to make a girl sleep with you?

So the question is- Can two people make love without getting emotionally involved AND can you be with someone and be in love with someone else even when you have the option of going back to the one you love (not involving societal/parental pressure which I am sure only few of us can handle)?

But what comes out of the whole situation is that 'Is being a virgin still the parameter to judge the character of a woman?'. My friend cried thinking that losing her virginity by being blindly in love with someone has ruined her future.

But isn't something that you do for the one you love, while you were in love, beyond the boundaries that separates right from wrong? Whatever you do while being in love is right, if you feel it's right. But it seems like our male-dominant society has not yet grown up from the concept of getting married only to a virgin, which in turn takes us to another dimension of the society making me ask another question- Are all the men who wants a virgin bride Virgin? I guess the answer would be a big 'NO'. Then how could they ask for a virgin bride if they themselves are not 'Pure'? And why do they not think about the girl with whom they had sex to lose their virginity? Isn't she going to get married in her future to somebody and what if her husband doesn't accept her just because of something she did when he was not even there in her life?

When will people in our society grow up and let people live their life the way they want to, without getting scared about their future?

This, that and many questions kept on lingering in mind and in my heart (you know that if a matter involves love how cannot heart think about the matter?) and there was no end to my inquisitiveness and there was no answer to them.

If you have any of the answers to my questions, then do help me in this quest of understanding the society and thing called- Love.